I guess everyone knows that relationships built on equality work better. Of course there are no absolutes, and everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I have always thought about this kinda on a general term.
It was when I have come to know about relationships that some of my 16-19 year old students have that it really hit home. The world of a 16-19 year old is actually quite an equal one. Everyone is a student, regardless of whether they were bright or not, and even if someone is really hot, they would still have their awkwardness from inexperience and youth.
Things change really fast after that age, or rather equality does. Some people make it to university, some people end up in green. Some overseas, some work, some gain extraordinary confidence. And thats when a rather homogenous community of students become a wide ranging diversity of adults. Everything becomes unequal from that point on.
One ends up having to date people quite different from one’s own situation. Different levels of hotness, different education standards (it impacts the sort of conversation one has), different income levels (probably one of the biggest gulfs), different experiences and views, and of course, different ages (and the generation gaps that brings into the picture). Where can the equality be found in all this diversity?
Why would you need everything to be equal in a relationship? Wouldn’t that make you feel like you are dating yourself? I think equality in a relationship is achieved when one party is not more dominating, where both party’s opinion, needs, wants, are mutually respected. I feel the best kind of relationship is where both your traits complement each other rather than having the same. That is how you would be able to learn from each other and grow together, as individuals and as a couple.
I do agree that there must common traits/interests between the couple and even among friends but I firmly believe that it is usually the opposite of what you are that attracts you.
Ultimately, it is about finding a balance and putting in plenty of hard work to maintain the delicate equation and working towards a common goal.
I largely agree with you. Relationships work when two people complement each other. However, inequality is rife in our society when it comes to picking a soul mates. At the end of the day, relationships are about communication, if two parties find themselves not quite able to communicate well, they relationship will be strained. That is partly why people tend not to marry too far outside of their own socio-economic level, or educational level. The dominant reasons might well be financial or a sense of security, but an underlying communication barrier can be there.